Aware Parenting - Melt Down, a desperate Soul’s scream for guidance

Overcoming the Storm

A few days ago, while picking up my daughter from kindergarten, I found myself witnessing an intimate moment—one mother seeking guidance from a teacher, yearning to navigate the very essence of today’s topic. With an open heart, she asked for wisdom, of an experienced lady, on how to hold space for her child’s emotions, how to respond with anything else, rather than resistance.

She spoke words that echoed in my soul, words that so many of us have silently wondered, something like:

…when my children are overtaken by their emotions, I sometimes feel an urge to give up, to create distance… It is challenging to express empathy in those moments…

Children experience big emotions because they are still learning to navigate the world. Their souls are tender, and their hearts are still unfolding. As their guardians, our ability to remain a steady with loving presence amidst their storms helps them develop the inner strength with the goal of being able to recognize it and consciously calm down themselves, eventually. Yet, when they lose control, something within us tightens. We resist. We hear the whispers of our own wounds, and we want to shut it all down. It is again one of those ‘’scars’’ that we need to address, another open wound that is in desperate need of attention, our inner child which is not understood entirely.

We hear our inner voice protest:
No, I don’t have time for this again…
No, this is embarrassing; everyone is watching…
No, what have I done now that my child is struggling like this…
No, why is she doing this to me again…

These thoughts arise from our childhood conditioning—messages, patterns we received and adopted when we were young, whispers from a time when emotions felt unsafe or unwelcome. So when our child cries out, something deeply buried within us stirs and comes up to light. Something we hoped, it would never come up seeking for attention again, something we did so well burying it at that moment in past. Fear flashes through our body. We react, just as we did than, when we were more or less at the same age our kids is now: fight, flee, or freeze….

But there is another way: the way of presence. The way of love. We own this to ourselves above everything. We own to ourselves to accept our flaws, our weaknesses, to heal the ‘’me-child’’ so we don’t inflict the same type of wounds on our kids. We decide to be the

Can we hold space for our child’s emotions with compassion? Can we witness their pain without judgment, without taking it personally? This is the single most important responsibility of parenting—not to control or suppress, but to guide, to hold the space of understanding and unconditional love. When we meet our child’s emotions with open arms, they learn to trust their own hearts. They learn that all feelings are welcome and that nothing within them is unworthy of love. Not to mention that we are showing them that authenticity is welcome and accepted.

Somehow the question that imposes on its own would be - How Do We Stay Aware and keep our Cool in those moments?

Acknowledge Your Own Feelings with Compassion.
The discomfort you feel is an echo of your own past. When panic rises, greet it like an old friend: “Thank you for keeping me safe when I was little. But now, I am here. I am whole. I can hold space for this.” Make it your mantra in these occasions.

This Is Not an Emergency.
Your child’s distress is not a crisis—it is a passage, a new lesson for both of you. A moment of release. “I am safe. My child is safe. We are walkimg this together. We learn together.”

B e Grateful for the Gift of Emotion.
Feelings are like waves—they rise, peak, and fall away. Allow your child to express it’s storm, witnessing that once the clouds move on, there will be Light again, peace. Teach them that emotions are not enemies but guides leading them to deeper self-awareness. They are never too young to hear that from us.

Take the Pressure Off.
No fixing is required. Your child does not need the Blue cup, or the Toy, or whatever they are crying for in that moment. What they need is YOU. Your presence, your acceptance, your unwavering love, you being capable of controlling your-self. That is the healing balm.

Breathe and Choose Love.
In every moment, we are offered a choice: stress or love. Let your heart be your compass. Place your hand on your heart and remind yourself, “I choose love. I choose patience. I choose understanding. I choose growing up and learning.”

Examine the Emotion Without Reacting.
You don’t have to act immediately. Simply allow the feeling to exist. Breathe it. If it helps, address it with a friendly tone: “Ah, anger, my dearest teacher. Ah, frustration. I see you, I recognize you. Thank you for showing me my weaknesses.” Underneath every strong emotion lies a softer truth—perhaps fear, perhaps sadness, perhaps longing. A ‘’me-child’’ seeking for help. Honor it all.

Be Aware and Hold the Space of acceptance Without Words.
Your child does not need analysis or lectures in the heat of emotion. They need your calm energy. Words are not be necessary in the peak of their storm. Instead, let your calm presence be the strongest message:
You are safe.
I see you.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
I am here.

Find Your Own Sacred Space for Release.
Parenting unearths our deepest wounds. We, too, need to process. We, too, need a place where we can feel safe and not judged. Whether it’s through journaling, meditation, or sharing with a  trusted person, give yourself permission to feel. Your healing is also your child’s healing.

A Gift of Unconditional Love

This work is not easy, but it is a gift—a sacred offering to our children and to ourselves. When we embrace their emotions with love, they learn to carry their own hearts with tenderness. Each time we meet their meltdowns with grace, we teach them that all of who they are is worthy of love. And in turn, we, too, heal the ‘’me-child’’ within us—the one who longed for the same understanding.

Love is the path. Presence is the practice. Breathe, soften, and hold your child close. The storm will pass. Love will remain. Awareness of the moment is the blessing we strive for.

A suggestion, an advice, of vibrational practice that in my case always works!

In the very next situation, do the following:

Hug Your child, gently place your child’s head on your heart and let the heart beat smooth down the frustration. Calm breath. Count to 4 on intake, keep it for 4, count to 6 on exhale, keep it for 4. Visualize the light hugging you with the unconditional love. Like honey purring down on your heads, liquid light brings you understanding, acceptance and calmness. See your-self and your child in a harmony. Embrace its weakness and be grateful for the experience and the lesson offered.
Stay in this state for as long as your child needs this, don’t forget why and for whom you are doing this.   

This moment is the most important moment for both kids you are embracing; your kid and your inner kid.

Be grateful for it.

Be well, Stay Centered
Marko Micic