Ego – Enemy, Friend, Savior
Is it truly possible to live without the ego?
Is it just a psychological phenomenon—or can we explore it from a more energetic, attention-based perspective?
In this post, I won’t dive into the psychological definitions of ego. Instead, we’ll stay in a space shaped by energy, attention, and the conscious power of decision-making.
The Power of Attention and Decision
Each day, from the moment we wake up, our experience is shaped by decisions—intentional or not. Whether it’s choosing to act or choosing not to, we are constantly directing our focus.
Some choices are easy to spot—those tied to work or goals that require strategy. But many are subtle. How we behave, the micro-signals in our body language, the vocabulary we use, the emotions we acknowledge or suppress—these are all part of our decision-making landscape, whether we notice them or not.
The Trap of Self-Development
We live in a world flooded with self-development programs. I’ve encountered more than a few—always filled with smiles, high energy, and promises that we can manifest our dreams.
But I began to wonder: - If this works, why do so many still feel stuck?
In my very first experience with one of these programs, I learned a lesson that has stayed with me ever since:
“You cannot build anything on the wrong foundation.”
Often, we chase external solutions—new tools, exciting techniques, hopeful affirmations—without truly addressing the root issues. We follow the shiny path of progress, while the ego remains comfortably hidden in the background, gently guiding our attention away from the uncomfortable truth.
The Ego’s Gentle Whisper
The ego doesn’t shout. It whispers.
It offers subtle justifications, tempting distractions, and soft comforts. Even as we pursue healing, it quietly maintains control, feeding off our desires and fears.
As I began peeling back the layers of my own shadows, one truth became more and more evident:
Attention is the essence.
Only by consciously focusing on what lies behind the curtain was I able to start seeing what truly needed healing. As I applied this pattern to everything in my life—every emotion, every conflict, every goal—I started seeing a new picture.
A Glimpse into the Biosphere of Ego
When challenges demanded more energy and deeper presence, I noticed something curious.
The more I tried to keep my focus, the more my ego resisted. I’d react defensively—sometimes subtly, sometimes not. I’d feel vulnerable. And in that vulnerability, I’d respond in a way that surprised even me.
Can you recognize this pattern in yourself?
That sudden defensiveness...
That quiet inner scream...
That urge to protect, to control, to withdraw...
Yes. That’s the ego. Always working in the background.
Spiritual Egoism and the Illusion of Progress
Through this process, I uncovered two significant insights:
1. Spiritual Egoism
This form of ego hides behind “awareness.” It shows up in people who push their beliefs aggressively, often criticizing anything outside their chosen path. They may appear enlightened—but their ego is merely dressed in spiritual robes.
(We’ll explore this deeper in a future post.)
2. The Ego as a Result of Focus
A profound realization began to take shape:
The ego we express is the final destination of our sustained focus.
When we fixate on a specific outcome, we channel our intention toward it. This creates a pattern. We’re not talking about ordinary goals—we’re talking about The Goal: identity, safety, control, meaning.
Machiavelli and the Strategic Ego
This brings us to a curious parallel: - Niccolò Machiavelli, the controversial Italian thinker of the 16th century.
He’s often associated with the phrase:
“The end justifies the means.”
While he never wrote those exact words, The Prince suggests that rulers (let’s see them as metaphors for the ego) may need to use manipulation, deception, even cruelty—to maintain control and stability.
One of his most striking quotes is:
“A prince must learn how not to be good, and to use this knowledge or not, according to necessity.”
To Machiavelli, virtù wasn’t about morality—it was about cunning and power. - Doesn’t that sound eerily familiar?
When we act out of ego—especially in pursuit of personal “truth,” identity, or validation—we too become Machiavellian. We lie to ourselves. We manipulate our own feelings. We justify actions that go against our deeper well-being.
Focus is a Tool of Creation (and Destruction)
Focus directed only toward a desired outcome becomes fertile ground for ego-driven behaviors. Often unconsciously, we repeat patterns rooted in early experiences—patterns that now bear the fruits of self-deception, cruelty, or emotional manipulation.
As I continued exploring this idea—ego as the product of focus—insight after insight began surfacing. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It had become part of my lived experience.
Now, whenever I “place my focus on something,” I ask myself: - Is this my truth—or my ego in disguise?
What Are You Protecting?
We often fiercely protect our beliefs—especially the unconscious ones. These beliefs define how we see ourselves and how we wish to be seen by others.
But what happens when we remove the focus from them?
What if we let go of the need to identify with:
a political stance,
a sports team,
a relationship,
even a spiritual belief?
What remains is simply awareness. And that’s where truth begins.
The Responsibility of Awareness
We work on ourselves daily. We choose where to place our attention. That focus determines what grows inside us.
It is our responsibility to face what arises—because once we notice a pattern, we can no longer unsee it. Whether it’s pleasant or painful, it’s ours to handle.
Every time we work through a pattern—layer by layer—we get closer to who we are meant to be. We become more light, more clarity, more purpose.
Let me repeat:
Even when it hurts, it’s just a lesson.
Even when it’s joyful, we must remain present—because joy teaches, too.
Never take an experience for granted.
Choose Your Focus
Start with one simple truth: - Your focus is yours.
And wherever you place it—that is where your ego will grow, evolve, or dissolve.
So choose consciously. Choose with heart. Choose to see what’s really behind the curtain.
Because that’s where freedom begins.
Be well, Be centered.
Your’s trully
Marko
